FORKS, Wash. -- Those Goldman Sachs bankers taking home millions in bonuses could take a few lessons from the richest man in fiction, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Unlike those bankers, Cullen has avoided populist ire by hiding his $34.1 billion personal fortune from charities, the I.R.S. and, until now, Forbes' intrepid imaginary billionaire hunters.
"It took you long enough to find me," Cullen, 370, said when approached at his home in Forks, Wash., before peeling off in his Mercedes S55 AMG. Sources tell us he is headed to Volterra, Italy, or possibly to Isle Esme, the private island he bought for his wife, Esme, just off the coast of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil...
Sources who requested anonymity out of fear of retaliation say that an unruly troop of London vampires converted Cullen into a vampire in 1663 (the alleged vampires did not return repeated calls for comment)...
But Cullen has bigger things than his medical license and an ongoing I.R.S. audit to worry about, namely, his old benefactors. The Volturi have laws, or really, just one law, to being a vampire: You must keep a low profile. They forbid exposure. Forbes could not reach Aro, Marcus or Caius Volturi for comment, but was able to reach Felix, a member of their security detail.
Asked how he and his employers planned to deal with Cullen's recent exposure, Felix would only offer, "Dibs."
Want to shed some pounds and need some incentive? Well if you are loving Twilight this chart with inspirational *air quotes* words of wisdom are for you. Print out and use this really cool and totally hysterical chart to keep you working towards your weight loss goal from Breaking Through...Right now it is a tracking board to help keep us motivated through our challenge to meet our weight loss goals. Anyone can use it as motivation in their own weight loss journey. As it progresses we will be adding more elements. We weight in weekly. We divided the 12 week challenge into 4 phases, 1 for every book. There are goals for every book, you or/and your team can decide the goals, our goals for example are: Twilight Phase, eat an apple everyday. New Moon phase: Cut back those calories to 1200, "suffer" along with Bella. Eclipse Phase: get in 1 hour of activity a day to train with the Cullens. Breaking Dawn Phase: Drink 1 glass of pure unsweetened cranberry juice a day, like the blood Bella has to drink. Whoever loses the highest percentage wins. We are already working on making it a kit with other fun additions.
